Archive for October, 2002
October 22nd, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Bikini Bottom and Glitter
Sponge Bob Skateboards are boasting 9 layers of maple and some ABEC 1 bearings. How in the fuck can a kid push a heavy ass board around on shit bearings you ask? The $24.99 - $19.99 price tag for a complete will allow parents to force their kids to ride this crap.
October 21st, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Jackass Woman Sues
Some dumb chick is looking to sue MTV over a Jackass stunt gone bad. “The suit also alleges cast members, including star Johnny Knoxville, were given alcohol by the producers, which led to a “hostile, volatile and out-of-control” environment.” - Stay off the porch bitch.
October 21st, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Who is this Goof?
No serious, who is this Robert Earl? Where did he come from? Why is he all of sudden Tony Hawk’s best buddy? Why the hell do we care? And why should we buy his book?
October 21st, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Little Ryan got a BooBoo?
“In the immediate future, the health community should continue to urge skateboarders to use helmets and wrist guards, as well as to avoid skating in the streets,” recommends Dr. Nance. NO! YOU FUCKING TWAT! Don’t you get it? If you let kids wear more and more protection, they will turn into the biggest pussies! Take off that helmet, learn how to fall!
October 20th, 2002
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Extreme Flops
“Fear is a trigger”? Yur gonna be begging to pull the trigger after you watched the trailer loaded with the craziest fruitboard stunts ever!
October 17th, 2002
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We Are the Boys Your Mother Warned You About
“I ran up to where it happened near the skateboard ramp and told these lads off. All they did was laugh. There was a group of about 15 of them. They thought it was funny,” said Karen. We wonder why she has her seven year old daughter hanging around 15 skateboarders. Sorry Mum. What is it with us skateboarders and fireworks anyway?
October 17th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Women Skateboarders Have Tits But Get Little Of The Glory
So we got a letter from one of the PushMag girls. “Snrk. It was pretty funny to see PUSH included on skateboardingsucks. Sure, you might think girls’ scene stuff is lame, but we’re hardly a big company.. blah blah etc.” she finishes the letter with: “Glad to find your site, though, lots of funny stuff here. Keep up the good work otherwise, but you missed your mark this time. Sorry. -denise” Hrm.. maybe this article can help us miss the point a few more times?
October 16th, 2002
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No Reckless Driving For Us
In a legal victory for skateboarders, the Oregon Court of Appeals has ruled that a skateboard rider cannot be charged with reckless driving under state motor vehicle laws. Effective in January 2001, the city of Portland made it legal to ride skateboards on downtown streets, except for the transit mall. Portland is looking like a very good vacation spot.
October 16th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
AIBO Speed Board Available Early November
The AIBO Speed Board allows AIBO to entertain you with dances and routines on its very own scooter. We couldn’t believe that this showed up on the screen either.
October 16th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Police Chief Wants Consistency
Stephen White, the Doylestown Township’s police chief, recommended the board of supervisors allow skateboarders back on the communities’ sidewalks and streets where in-line skaters and bicycle riders are free to move. “Skateboards aren’t attached to the body…they can lose control,” and shoot away from the rider, said supervisor Thomas Scarborough. “We need time to study this.” - Fuck your “more time” Tom. No one wants to pay you to study shit.