Archive for November, 2002
November 14th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Rub My Butt! I’m Blowin’ Up!
Grab some ecstacy and head down to your local skatepark after hours with a fresh set of FlipStix stuck to the bottom of your board. You’ll be the coolest fuckin’ raver kook dumbass there. Girls will flock to you and ask you for pills. Great!
November 13th, 2002
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Gone are the Days of Trashmore
Virginia Beach has shut down a section of their newly renovated boardwalk to skateboarders. “Frankly, we have not done a good job in this city of providing opportunities for skateboarders.” Keep the damn raccoon out of my truck, Please. What’s his name? Steve Caballero. That’s it. That’s his name. Oh my God he’s gorgeous. Remember that video featuring Virginia Beach’s Mount Trashmore?
November 12th, 2002
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Ashton Hates Skaters but They Love Liquor.
Ashton’s Board Members are fucking stupid. “I have had complaints they’re refusing to move out of the street. Something has to be done. They say there’s nothing else to do, but there’s wrestling, basketball and football at the school.” If you take the time to read the end of the article you will find that the town ammended an ordinance to help get a liquor permit at a new pizza joint. Get rid of the skateboarders and bring in more liquor? Fuck Ashton.
November 12th, 2002
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From the Director of “Kids”
Larry Clark is looking for a new distributor for his sexually explicit film about Califoria skateboarders. “Ken Park” was pulled from it’s November 9th slot at the London Film Festival after Larry punched the executive that owned the local rights to the film. More information on the scuffle leads us to believe that Larry is pretty fuckin’ cool. We doubt Harold Hunter will be in this film after getting all the video coverage he needs this year at the Gap contest at A.S.R..
November 11th, 2002
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Australian Pop-Kook Scott Cain
After you force yourself to watch Scott Cain’s videos, You will laugh your ass off. We must have counted 5 or more replays of the same folded frontside flip. Let us know if you’ve seen any other freaks like scotty out there. Australian Popstars is like American Idol. How would you feel if Scott snaked you in a session?
November 8th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Fridays Fanmail!
Its time for the fanmail! We have received 3 lovely letters from some of our most loyal fans.
The first fanmail we got is from Joe Harrington; “fuck u guys. all of u r prolly preps,jocks,hicks and that gay ass shit. fuck all of u faggots this site is the fuckin gayest site ive ever been 2″
We dont really have much to add to that. Joe is right on the money.
Fanmail numero dos came from Lorin over at Eliteic; “I’m from Elite Interactive Cards, you talked some shit on our stuff awhile back…no worries, it’s understandable the cards could easily be cheezy if created by the wrong people. Anyways, just wondering if you’ve had a chance to actually see one?”
No, and we do NOT wish to see one, EVER!
She continues: “I Like the new site…though it surprises me that someone as “core” as you would have “The Indu$try” section.”
Well then you my dear Lorin, if you just had a little bit of brainpower, you would understand that the Indu$try section is a “diss” to the industry. If you look closely you will notice that stock increases are red and decreases are in green. We want the middle column to be all zeros one day (thats a “0″ for you). Globe and Vans are doing good!
And now for our last fanmail already from an unknown;
“u r site sucks top 10 useless crap
1.ur site
2.how much effort u put into the site
3.cats(wast of space)
4.game consoles (boaring)
5.magazines
6.schools
7.clocks(weve all got watches)
8.cigarets
9.drugs
10.the person how made this site how boaring being online on day makin a stupid site that has no perpouse….”
Thats right buddy, just like your live!
That’s if for now folks, keep sending us fanmail! We love to hear from you!
November 8th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Your Kid is a Dork
If your kids are riding Snakeboards and hang out on the streetboarder website you better buy them a skateboard pretty fast. The picture should clue you in a little bit. Is your kid a Stiffy Skinner? You wouldn’t want them to grow up looking as bad as they already do. Would you?
November 8th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Dumb Crap
Pronto Sports has developed a piece of shit for us to make fun of today. We really don’t understand why this was invented at all. “During inception, the California design team found that the geometry of the StowboardŽ actually shortened the learning curve of boarding.” Sounds like Daniel Gezmer to us.
November 7th, 2002
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There’s That Goof Again!
This time he’s on the Today show. Promoting that eXtreme cook book he wrote. Everybody knows skaters dont cook, they go to Del Taco! Check the foto (that we interecepted off some Billabong Press Release) peep the urethane candle holders. Who’s BRILLIANT idea was that?!?!?
November 7th, 2002
Posted in Uncategorized
Pro and Serious Amateur Fingerboarders
Moshmelloz offer sweet pop and less shock. The fingerboarding scene is bigger than you thought. Fucking weirdos.