Archive for January, 2003
January 31st, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
What the Shit Hell?
Sent in by free the weed: “Check this out, what a cunt! I reckon you should post this so that every one can email the editor and call him a cunt!” Steven Wells wrote some dumb shit last weekend. Check it. …”The fact that we have one internationally-renowned skateboarding celebrity is merely annoying. The day we get two is the day I emigrate to a different solar system.” Steven must allready live there.
January 31st, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Friday’s Fanmail, The Return.
It has been a while since we did “Friday’s Fanmail”. Maybe due to the fact that not a lot of people are hating on skateboardingsucks.com anymore. Thank god, we received two very entertaining letters from the President of the Number 1 Useless toy: Lantern Trucks!
“Lantern truck owner.Ive been skating for 12 years,and came up with the lighted idea.If you have been skating long enough you will have known someone who has died on a skateboard.Usually because a car that does not see you hits you.This is the main reason for these!They also make for sick night shots!I am true to my sport my trucks are made in usa unlike the #1 brand because I care about skateboarding.I dont know how many opinions you have gotten on them or if this reflects just one persons.Almost every hardcore grom I meet likes them.(enough to ask where can I get em)I would really appreciate if you care about your own(I make no money,IM not a corporate giant,just a skateboarder trying to have fun with my sport and sell a few trucks).If this is gay or unskateboarding I dont know whats not.I would appreciate it if you would take down your negative view.Give me a call 619-XXX-XXXX shane owner”
We didn’t want to post this at first, because we felt kinda sorry for the chap with his friend dying and all, but after we received the second letter, we knew we had to share this with our readers:
“Hey this is shane from lantern trucks.Do you have the balls to talk to me in person or are you going to hide behind this website.I sent you an email last week and you did not respond.You seem to have all the time in the world to write about dumb shit so take the time out to actually research the products you review.Your attitude is fucken wack .If all your concerned with are skateboarders you should not talk shit about one of them!Why dont you show your face on this site so if I see you in person I can fuck you up! lATER POSER!!”
Dear Shane:
The “Useless Toys” list is ranked by clicks. Apparently our readers seem to be most interested in your trucks. So if you think about it, skateboardingsucks.com is providing you with FREE advertising! How about that? In return, we demand a couple sets of those glow-in-the-dark trucks of yours. And to show you, that we are not the posers that you think we are, we will even review them and give them our most subjective opinion! We emailed you our address.
This also goes for the rest of you “useless toys” manufacturers, if you think you can convince us that your toy is not as useless as you think it is, contact us! We will review your product!
January 30th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Liars of Westmoreland Park
Some fucking dorks in Westmoreland Park are trying to keep a public skatepark from being built on their land. Originally they posted a video from the Concrete Disciples website that they thought demonstrated hooliganism and juvenile delinquency. It was a video taken at the Orange Crush Joe Lopes Barbeque on 4/20. BIG MISTAKE! Click on the video link on their page now and be happy that skateboarders are the mischievous little fucks that we are. Write a letter or two if you have time. Excellent work nerds. R.I.P. Joe
January 29th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Build Your Own
These people are not injecting heroin into their boards. They aren’t hand models trying to get on the sux website. They are sucking the air out of a do-it-yourself skate press. We want to try one out for lack of a better thing to do while we type at you. If we can sucker someone into sending us 1 or 2 then we will be glad to test this shit out. NCDSA has some talk about them already. Tell us what you think.
January 28th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Duff Bunnies
After our quick trips to TPA, LBC, and SD we are back. We contEmplated what to post and came up with Hensley’s Shoe sponsor’s website. If your website isn’t finished, Don’t put it on the fucking internet. We are only concerned with one or two cumming soon projects right now. How do you think Matt Hoffman feels when he goes to his own shoe sponsor’s website and sees Matt Hensley Glorified and cumming soon on his section? Oh wait, That’s BMX and Duff’s is in the business of TRYING to sell shoes. Bunny afterbirth sux. Nice try.
January 15th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Gurl
grrlsk8.com is open and ready for you to give them hell. Maybe, if they get enough visitors from our foul mouths, they will put more shit up for us to make fun of.
January 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Vans shoes marketing tactics
“Vans invested $US750,000 in the film to reach a young audience resistant to traditional marketing.” “The results were so promising that it committed to another documentary, an animated television pilot and invested in the action movie XXX.” We all need pimp suits like Ali G.
January 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Unable to Participate in a Snake Session?
If you or your child is a little bit of a pussy, Maybe you belong in Simi Valley? Skatelab will get your ass on the board and have you dropping in on troggs in no time. You might even see a few naked bitches running around while your strapping on your pads. Got classes for that?
January 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
You Smell Like Shit
Looks like none of us will be able to take the bus after a heated session in Bend, Oregon. “…the city already has an ordinance prohibiting people from releasing “highly objectionable odors” from their property.” Stay off the smelly curbs.
January 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
The Woman’s Movement
The women behind Frontside Betty and Push Magazine go to press today. “The free magazine’s first full edition with a circulation of 30,000 is being sent out from the printer’s today.” Okay guys, It’s official. If women have their own full-color glossy skateboard magazine, You never have to take the trash out again just because “you’re the guy”. Ladies… Do you feel liberated?