Archive for February, 2003
February 14th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Fridays Fanmailerer!
We received this email from Chris Grieff:
“Hey your guys site is pretty rad, your definitely gettin the point acroos supporting the true skate scene. Hey make fun of skateamerica.com, i ordered a deck from them like a year ago and everyday in my email i get like 5 gay ads that are trying to sell me overpriced bullshit. So peace, and make sure you make fun of them somehow, dig up some dirt. peace.”
Dear Chris,
Thanks, but you are a moron! Why did you order online!? Why does anyone order online or use mailorder?!?! Please support your local skateshop. If there is no skateshop in your town, jump on the bus, train whateffer! Or start your own shop! Skatecompanies are hurting right now, they would LOVE to open up new skateshops.
In other news, if you have one of those superfancy GPRS cellphones, check out skateboardingsucks on it. We tested on a Sprint/PCS phone which seemed to work. Let us know if it is working on yours.
And finally, could Gorilla, Bradley and Fox please report to the principals office? Just kidding. We love you guys opinions and would like to know if you would be interested in some sort of feature. Give us a call.
February 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Got Milk?
Wash your fritos and go-snacks and bagel bites down with some chocolate milk. You know, we are almost to the point that we should just say fuck it and get all the filthy stinking dirty ass money we can get our hands on before skateboarding dies again.
February 12th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Fritos and Skateboards. Schwiiiiiiiing!
Buy your Pepsico stock now! You can bet it will go up with the marketing power Tony will bring to the company. You think Coca Cola is scared? Damn it all.
February 11th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Hypnotize Your Shit
“You are excellent at skateboarding. Your strategy is perfect. You naturally make the right play. You excel at skateboarding, …” Pat yourself on the back and dominate the next x-gaymes. Take the four step system for a grand total of $98.00!
February 11th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Somewhere in an Office in Texas…
CEO: “So we have this great product, now how are we going to make ourselves look hip”?
Marketing Guy: “Sir, how about we tap into the eXtreme market segment?”
CEO: “Excellent idea marketing guy, but how? We know NOTHING about these X-Games type sports?”
Marketing Guy: “Sir, I know just the right spot to find these high profile athletes: THE LOCAL MALL! This weekend I will visit the Vans eXtreme park and I will interact with all the high profile athletes and sign them up for our product.”
CEO: “You deserve a raise!”
February 10th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Andy Mac Shoes for Cheap Bastards
We just want you to sit and ponder what Andy is doing here. Cheaper shoes available at Payless. How will these profits make it back to the world of skateboarding? The Payless website sux ass too. What a partnership!
February 7th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Stowboard Luggage Rack Tech Crap
We wrote about the stowboard way back in the early days of skateboardingsucks. The website is all pretty now, we added it to the top 20 and japantoday has some comments collected about it. If you buy one of these, we hope to God you’re using the piece of shit for your luggage. Board evolution?
February 6th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Remember I-Level?
Christian skateboard clubs are popping up all over the United States these days. Did someone let that I-Level dude run another ‘camp’ ? Little boys beware. Yuck.
February 5th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
P.A.T.H. - Parents Against Tony Hawk
“…Since his discovery two weeks ago, Mike Hawker and his 12-year-old son, Chris, have gathered about 250 signatures on a petition and formed a protest organization called Parents Against Tony Hawk.”
“…The petition asks that either the songs be removed from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater series of video games or the games be removed from store shelves. Most of the signatures have been collected at Charlie’s Stop & Shop on Franklin Turnpike, a convenience store owned by Hawker.”
Listen up Mike Hawker, You are a kook and your son is now the laughing stock of his good Christian school. Eat shit and die.
February 5th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Bart, Homer and Tony
On Sunday, Feb. 16, Tony skates against Homer in The Simpsons’ historic 300th episode. This falls under our miscellaneous news and other bullshit. We think Tony is doing a fine job at the helm. Looks like Homer needs a board sponsor.