Archive for April, 2003
April 30th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Strap-on and Look Like a Dildo
Ben Banks has been searching for strap-ons. Glad he brought these to our readers’ attention. You guys have to get one of these. Do they come in Burberry Plaid?
April 29th, 2003
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Genius Ass Crack - “Less Wax Needed”
Ben Banks turned us on to Lozins? “Lozin Truck Sliders™ are injection molded using LEXAN (bullet proof glass). This material allows you to skate on surfaces not possible before, and you will not get hung up on inconsistencies on the skating surface.” “Less wax needed.” Your ledges, curbs and pool coping are laughing at your pussy ass.
April 28th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Chris Miller Discusses Business
Chris Miller Can throw down some huge airs that travel all the way across even the biggest of ramps. We hate to turn you on to some of the business decisions that the companies he is involved with have made. But here’s the scoop. Sux would like to invite you to get off your asses and go outside and break some skateboards and buy some new ones.
April 25th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Mallrats are Stoked on Etnies
You can now purchase Etnies from Footlocker. We are guessing that either Etnies needs money or they haven’t caught enough slack for already being in Pacific Sunwear and Journey’s. Thank God Emerica is still all about skateboarding. DVS and DC have decided to pursue other revenue sources also. UPDATE: eastbay.com (owned by the same company as footlocker, even uses the same warehouse space).
April 25th, 2003
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Councilman Faggot or Idiot Bully?
The guy couldn’t become mayor and he can’t keep his hands off little boys. This is a U.S. Senate Aide and he’s now out of jail after posting bail. Slap tells us how to make more noise. Chomp on that you councilman fuck.
April 23rd, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
When you see a nigga like me shinin’
We cant wait to see this banging ass in action! Who is that bunny? It sure aint the one Berra was grin-ding. Here’s some more excellent grin-ding devices: Seismic Trucks (by that Dan Gesmer fruit), O-Shocks (for those that love wheelbite!) and finaly the Nuclear Pickle (where do they come up with those names?). Truck links via conform.tv.
April 22nd, 2003
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Camel Toe Shoeguard
SunWheel LLC. has a patent pending on Camel Toes. Skateboarding Sux would like to introduce you to Camel Toe Annie. Both products are the inventions of pure genius? Who has a better grasp on marketing?
April 22nd, 2003
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Tattooed and Balled Up
Red Bull and Canadiens just can’t seem to get along. “Gold Coast MP Christine Smith said teams of Red Bull promoters were handing out sample cans of the caffeine drink to children at skateboard parks.” …”There is community concern about children being targeted, because they should not be exposed to stimulants and they may be less tolerant to caffeine,” Mr Beattie said. These are the same people that turned kids onto riddilin a few years back. There’s nothing more American than an 8 year old on 10 red bulls sweating his ass off in dirt at an outdoor skatepark. Wait until he’s 30 and sitting behind a computer before you take his stimulants away.
April 22nd, 2003
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The New Big Brother
Drop your socks and grab your cocks boys, We’re in for a bumpy ride in Humboldt. “The camera, to be mounted inside a protective dome on a pole at the park, will not provide streaming video, only still photos. It will be able to record images and store them, and police will be able to swivel the camera and zoom in, Beardsley said.” Your Skatepark sucks ass.
April 22nd, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Stance is Fucked?
Matt at Vistaseeker let us know that Stance Magazine is done according to FuckedCompany.com. Maybe the staff read our poll and said fuck it! It’s over. A for effort for attempting to merge tits and ass with skateboards.