Archive for August, 2003
August 29th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Hardflip This Minneapolis PD
“Got Problems with Skateboarders?
Here’s Some Advice From the Minneapolis Police Department”
When you visit the police website be sure to go to the directed URL at Hardflip. Good job boys. If the stuff gets taken down we got your backs.
August 28th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Welcome to Auschwitz
“Three adults and three juveniles were arrested by late afternoon for not wearing helmets and knee and elbow pads. Deputies planned to continue the operation throughout the evening.” You kook bastards! If anyone was killed while you were dicking around with skateboarders for not wearing pads… Forget it… San Diego, You have wasted your tax dollars. We can see the joy on the cops’ faces as they pat you boys down. Take one for the team… Just don’t do it in a fucking skatepark for cripe’s sake! If you are going to get fingerprinted you better take some fresh marble or granite down with you. Fingerprinting Sux.
August 28th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Fernandez Will Steal Your Wife and Your Guinness
So Chad jumps into the books and opens up a whole new Guinness television opportunity xtreme hammer contest. He and Tony Rank right up there with Fastest Wife Carrier. Look what you started when you go to Guinness. Snort a few and become The fastest person to do 1000 ollies, perform the most consecutive kickflips or Most ollies in an hour. Fucking wonderful.
August 28th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Molded In Mum’s Oven
“Brad Black reckons it doesn’t matter if he wins a $50,000 grant to market his skateboard backpack invention. That’s because he’s going to make it big anyway.” Damn you’re smart Brad. “Skateboarders are usually young with a largely disposable income. I think this will be something they would love.” We’re all so happy to have the bitch locked to our backs rather than under our feet. When a skateboarder gets an extra $100 we will bet you he isn’t thinking damn, I need a backpack.
August 25th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
It Isn’t Friday Forbes
Dear Skateboarding Sucks:
I’m writing an article on good sports Web logs and was hoping you could reccomend some good skating blogs.
Thanks!
Davide Dukcevich
Staff writer
Forbes.com
Dear Davide,
Are there others out there? Maybe our readers could tell you where all of our shit is. Our ‘Keepin’ It Real’ Section may help you out a bit too. But Forbes will get no help from us. We skate alone.
p.s. don’t forget to spellcheck
Sux
August 19th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
All Your Wheelbite are NOT Belong to Sux
Wheelbite busted out some internet hammers. After careful sux ad archive research, we decided to make sure you know what’s going on over there. On Monday we thought James Kelch was keeping it Real. On Tuesday we decided to call it a draw. Thank the folks at wheelbite anyway you can.
August 19th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Put Your ASR Spirit Fingers in the Air!
One of the Industry Hotties is getting us all fluffed for ASR. Add your own to the list. We’ll choose the top 100 or so.
1. The Reef girls
2. The whole surf section
3. Drunk people
4. The “cool” area of skate shoes (ie: Globe, DC…)
5. The free beer that I can never find
6. Collecting and handing out business cards - “Sure! I’ll make sure he gets it…(trash)”
7. Being hungover
8. The expensive food that sucks
9. Sharing a room
10. Sharing a bathroom
11. Set up
12. Take down
13. Reps getting mad at one thing or another
14. The Dickies girls and their little clickers (like the old Jeopardy board game buzz-ins)
15. The shitty give aways
16. Things like - flo-boards and roller scooters
17. Waking up early on the weekend
18. This year it’s Friday, Sat & Sun
19. People asking me for free alcohol
20. The cool crew (we all know who that is)
21. Kids asking for free stuff
22. Kids stealing all the stickers
23. Not being able to wear anything cute
24. Not knowing who “Big Joe” is when someone asks
25. Ron Jeremy
26. The Hustler booth
27. Having to watch people’s personal belongings at the booth
28. Never knowing about that party that goes “off-the-hook”
29. Trucker hats
30. People who don’t speak English
August 18th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Statesmen or Skatesmen?
Not only was it a good idea… results came back with outstanding printable quotes. “I am pleased to be able to tell you that I have never used any of them,” Lord St John of Fawsley informed his young correspondent, “and I deplore them. If I had my way they would all be banned, especially skateboards and roller skates which are a menace to the user and others.” Lord St John of Fawsley better not run into Screamin’ Lord Salba. Be sure to check the actual website.
August 13th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Up Your Skirt Baby
Girls are trying to get something serious going. We aren’t going to diss the ones that try to hard so will just give you some ass to look at. Skate all you want. We’re lookin for these.
August 8th, 2003
Posted in Uncategorized
Top Fuel Dragster Church Championships
A Reader found some more bribery. A televeision network starts up. And someone will be crowned Action Sports Champion. Business opportunities all around! Cash-in Suckers.